What The Hell is a Paint Inspector ? Part 2

BIG H STANDING ON THE 'BIG H'

...

Celebrating the completion of a difficult Helideck refurbishment project circa 1978 on the CDP1 Platform in the North Sea. Working out the correct orientation of the markings was a bit fraught in case you got blamed for the Helicopter crashing !

...

Back to the question of what is a Paint Inspector and what do they actually do ? The so called 3rd Party Inspection Industry throughout the late 60's and beyond consisted mainly of Welding Inspection personnel ie Radiographers, Ultrasonics technicians, MPI technicians, Welding Inspectors (ie ex welders) etc etc. Nobody involved in this part of the steel fabrication sector particularly the Engineers had a clue as to the machinations and mystery perpetuated by the Paint Supply and Application Contractors. To the layman the processes involved were a form of alchemy and unintelligible technical jargon and were viewed with a great deal of suspicion. In other words they probably thought they were getting ripped off and their beautiful steel masterpieces were in danger of corroding and falling to the bottom of the sea long before the end of their service life.

The Paint Manufacturers and Industrial Painting Contractors did nothing to dispel these fears maintaining a front worthy of any Masonic Order or secret society !

OUT OF THIS CHAOS THE PAINT INSPECTOR WAS BORN !

.

The idea was to have a 'qualified' & 'experienced' individual (usually an ex Painter & Decorator or Shotblast Foreman) acting as a kind of Site Agent or Clerk of Works on behalf of the Client or Site Engineer. That the specification / contract requirements had to be rigorously adhered to and monitored by the Paint Inspector who reported to his designated Engineer.

.

What happened in reality was that a 'monster' was created that was feared and reviled by all parties for reasons as follows:

.

1) The Paint Contractors hated you because you slowed production & cost them money

2) The Shotblaster / Painters hated you because you cost them money ('piece-work' was common in the 70's)

3) The Paint Suppliers and their Reps hated you and treated you with contempt as they regarded you as upstarts that criticised their products.

4) The Clients & Engineers hated you regarding you as a 'necessary evil' that encroached on their power base, cost them money and did nothing to help them understand what was actually going on.

.

The Paint Inspector perversely enjoyed this notoriety, relishing the unease he caused on site when he appeared brandishing his gadjets and widjets which only he understood how to use. The downside of this was that because it was a solitary life full of hostility most of them (mostly aged 50 plus at that time) were raging alcoholics.

.

I now understood clearly why at my so called interview the fact that I was a 'big lad' was of interest to my prospective employer.

.

So there we are ! It was 1976 and I had arrived ! I was the youngest in the Industry by a long way (25), what I didn't know about Paint Technology wasn't worth knowing, I wasn't an alcoholic and as an 18 stone Rugby playing karate expert well capable of looking after myself !

.

As I will resume my chronological account in Part 3 I do not want to jump ahead, but to highlight the above an anecdote to explain this may be appropriate at this stage.

.

It was 1979, I had just finished a major project for British Gas at St. Fergus as Senior Inspector. They asked me if I would like to look after a small project just outside Aberdeen. I arrived to find 3 Glasgow painters onsite and it was quickly apparent they were doing everything wrong !

.

After 3 days at sniping at each other the Foreman declared 'I'm fed up wi' you, so I'm no the Foreman onymair, ah've made him Foreman'. At which he pointed at the bigger of the three.

This gentleman asked me to have a word with him outside, and it soon became obvious that he was threatening me if I did not 'lay aff '. I asked 'Ok whats it to be, one at a time or all three at once !'. He was taken aback by this as it was not the response he had expected, but because his reputation was at stake he could not back off and the one at a time option was selected. In about 10 minutes after I had neatly laid them out on the tarmac I retired to my cabin thinking 'ok thats that sorted' - In about an hour I ventured out to see what was going on only to find the site deserted ! - Very shortly I was the recipient of a barrage of Phone calls from the Contractor and my Boss at British Gas 'Harry you can't go around beating up Contractors' he moaned.

.

The next day a hurried site meeting was arranged and my plea of 'self defense' was accepted and a new batch of Painters produced. Needless to say I had no further problems on that job !

.

Ahh those were the days ! when men were men and industrial disputes could be settled with a right hook and the PC brigade hadn't yet arrived to blight our existance.

What the Hell is a Paint Inspector ?

Ok ! I'll keep this one short being my first post. I'm struggling with the layout and interface a bit but here goes.

Up to about 1975 (just after I left the Car factory in Linwood) I regarded an Inspector as a guy on the assembly line who annoyed people by moaning about Quality - specifically in the Paint Shop where I was the Senior Paint Chemist / Technician - they were a source of irritation forcing me out of my nice safe lab onto the shop floor to deal with annoyances like runs, dirt, wrong colours etc on the car body shells resulting more often than not me getting paint all over my nice clean white lab coat ! At one time I actually managed to produce a run of 'Tartan' cars, I thought it was quiet innovative but the management were less than impressed !

I left the Car Industry in 1975 during the infamous '3 day week' episode and became a hippy for a while (I really was a Rocker but hippy chicks were more accomodating, know what I mean !). Having failed as a hippy, they did not appreciate my aggressive fascist tendancies (it wasn't my fault, it was the Whisky) I went back to College to study Ultrasonics with a view to becoming a Welding Inspector.

When the course was over we got the good news and the bad news, 'Well done! you've passed with a 95% score but sorry as there have been so many courses before no trainee positions are left.' - the class gave a collective groan of despair.

I piped up 'Aww for *#!@ sake ! You don't need anyone who knows about Paint do you ?' (I was desperate for a job - one of my hippy chicks - now my ex wife - was pregnant).

The Lecturer who was also an agency employer looked at me with interest and asked 'What do you know about Paint ?' so I told him.

'Hmm, come to our offices (Solus Schall) in Barrhead on Monday and we will have a talk'

From this one chance comment I was launched into one of the most bizarre industrial 'closed shops' imaginable.

I duly arrived on the Monday, suited and shining grasping my Portfolio and was ushered into a sidekicks office for an 'interview'. This gentleman who we'll call Peter was obviously the worse for wear with drink cast a desultory view over my cherished paperwork'.

'For Gods sake son, put that away, you're embarrassing me ! You better have a word with Angus.'

Angus (who was the lecturer) a big guy with red hair cast an appraising eye over me and stated:

'You look a bit green, young and fresh but you are a big lad (I was as least as big as him) Ok you can start tomorrow - report to Bob at Arrolls yard in Bridgeton (Glasgow) and he will show you the ropes.'

I left their offices 'dazed and confused'. What the hell had being a 'big lad' got to do with being a Paint Inspector ?

I duly arrived at Arrolls 8.00 am sharp raring to go but no sign of 'Bob'. At about 9.20 Bob arrived (obviously the worse for drink) - 'Are you Harry ? Ok come with me.' - I was conducted through a bewildering maze of Fab shops and at 10.30 Bob looks at his watch declaring it was time for tea break. We went out of the factory at the rear turned right through a door into a Pub actually built into the wall of the factory !!! To cut a long story short by the end of 'tea break' at approx 2.30 pm I was absolutely steaming and no longer knew who and where I was. I arrived home at 4.30 pm (god only knows how !) to my 'wifes' cheery comment 'ohh you're home early , how was your first day ?' whereupon I collapsed on the floor in a comatose heap.

That was my first day as a Paint Inspector !